There are many studies that suggest that if a parent demonstrates consistent affection and support, it can have a positive effect on a child’s mental well-being, physical health, and brain development. Furthermore, it can also lead to greater success in life.
kids that are raised in a loving and nurturing environment will thrive, learn more, and be happier than those who are not.
When it comes to modifying behavior, it is more effective to lead by example rather than to simply state what one wants done.
LOVE is a gift.
Love, EXERCISED, is the ultimate gift!
Teaching Our Kids How To Show Affection On Valentine’s Day
The Affection Hack
One of our Valentine’s Day traditions is going to a memory care home to spread some love. We smile, hug, and hand out homemade valentines to the amazing residents.
The opportunity taught them that expressing love is more than just saying “I love you” and that everyone expresses and interprets love differently.
The affection hack is all about knowing what makes the person you love feel loved and making sure you do those things for them. You don’t have to go overboard to make sure they feel loved.
Doing our part to help them feel loved is easy and simple if they so choose.
Showing Affection To Your Children
We can show our kids how much we love them by doing small things for them every day, and by teaching them how to express affection in a positive way.
You don’t have to spend a lot of time or money to make a big difference.
A few ideas:
- unplug from electronics and listen!
- kiss them when they allow it
- involve them in what you do
- embrace them with tenderness, and ask for a hug back
- play with them
- offer words of affirmation, compassion, and support
- make eye contact
- write them to love notes or letters
- smile at them and laugh with them
- make gifts for them and cherish their gifts
Kids will learn to show affection to others by following your example.
As we show love in different ways [giving of yourself, your effort and energy, your time, your talents, your thoughtfulness, or your support to help someone], children find ideas to do the same with friends and family. When we express love in various ways, be it through giving part of ourselves, putting in effort, or giving our time, talents, or support to others, we help children learn how to do the same with the people in their lives. In this way, we can instill values of caring and compassion in the next generation.
A Word Of Caution
We should make it clear to our kids that their bodies belong to them and that they can choose how to express affection, without anyone telling them what to do.
Physical affection is only safe and acceptable if it is enjoyable for everyone involved.
I strongly believe that we should let our kids decide what is appropriate and listen to their natural protective instincts.
We can teach our children to be affectionate and to give from the heart, but we can also teach them to say no to physical affection if they don’t want it.
If your child is uncomfortable, trust their instincts!
Modeling Affection
Children who see their parents showing love and affection to each other are more likely to have healthy relationships themselves. Seeing their parents express love in small ways every day shows children that love and affection are important parts of a relationship.
As a single mom, I show my affection for my parents, my siblings, and my close friends by being loving and kind to them.
I feel so happy and fulfilled when I see my daughters compliment each other, give each other little homemade gifts, hug and kiss each other, or share their favorite things. I make it a point to say it out loud.
Eliana, aged 3, would always ask us to sit and cuddle on the couch because she knew that it was something that was available and that everyone here was comfortable both asking for and receiving it.
Even though we all have busy schedules, we can still find ways to show each other that we care.
Is there a place that sells the most popular toys, clothes, and shoes? Only if the child’s love language is gifts. Otherwise, you don’t need to spend any money.
10 Ways to Love
Several years ago, I found an old notebook with a list of 10 ways to love, as well as a scripture verse to support each one.
- LISTEN without interrupting. (Proverbs 18)
- SPEAK without accusing. (James 1:19)
- GIVE without sparing. (Proverbs 21:26)
- PRAY without ceasing. (Colossians 1:9)
- ANSWER without arguing. (Proverbs 17:1)
- SHARE without pretending. (Ephesians 4:15)
- ENJOY without complaint. (Philippians 2:14)
- TRUST without wavering. (Corinthians 13:7)
- FORGIVE without punishing. (Colossians 3:13)
- PROMISE without forgetting. (Proverbs 13:12)
I think that lovers are not perfect, but love is perfect.
We can encourage children to share love and affection by listening, speaking, giving, praying, answering, sharing, enjoying, trusting, and forgiving.
Ways to Show Your Kids Love This Valentine’s Day
And what could be better than showing them how loved they are with a big, heart-shaped box of chocolates? Valentine’s Day is coming up soon. Although we express our love for our children in many small ways throughout the year, Valentine’s Day provides a chance to give them an extra measure of love. What could be better than showing them how much they are loved with a large box of heart-shaped chocolates?
Valentine’s Day Breakfast
You can surprise your loved one with a festive Valentine’s Day breakfast by decorating the night before with cute valentine’s day themed plates, cups, heart balloons, red streamers, and a fun tablecloth from the dollar store.
If you want to add a special touch, use a cookie cutter in the shape of a heart to cut your pancakes, waffles, or French toast. You can also find heart-shaped Cheerios in stores during Heart Health Month in February.
Decorate Their Door With Love Notes
Cut out a large heart from pink or red construction paper. Write “14 reasons why we love______(insert child’s name). on it. Then on each day leading up to Valentine’s Day, add a smaller paper heart that lists a reason you love your child.
Notes can be hung up before the kids wake up or while they’re at school. This is a cheap and easy activity, but it’s something that can be done every year.
Give Them a Valentine’s Card With a Letter Inside
It can be nice for an older child to do this activity. No matter how old we are, we always need to hear affirming words from the people we love. Even moody teenagers would appreciate getting a thoughtfully written letter from a parent, even if they don’t say it outright!
Show Your Love With a Heart-Shaped Treat
It has become one of my favorite pans to use. I found a heart-shaped cake pan many years ago and love using it to make all sorts of treats. The first year I had it, I made my husband a heart-shaped cake for Valentine’s Day. Since then, I’ve used it for Jello treats, Rice Krispie treats, and heart-shaped brownies. It’s one of my favorite pans!
Any recipe which calls for a smaller pan can also be used for this heart-shaped pan. If you can’t find one at the store, you can find several reasonably priced options on Amazon.
Learn Their Love Language
It can take some time to show your kids how much you love them, but it is an important part of making them feel loved. You don’t have to wait for Valentine’s Day to do this.
The book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman talks about the 5 ways in which love is usually expressed in a relationship: acts of Service, words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, and gifts. This list applies to both adults and children.
We all have different ways of expressing love, which often reflects the way we would like to receive love back. However, this doesn’t always align with the way our children need to feel loved. By learning your child’s love language and making an effort to offer them love in this way, you can help them feel emotionally supported.
In his follow-up book, The Five Love Languages of Children, Chapman addresses the topic of how children show love to their parents. Also available in a teenager edition, the book provides insight on how to notice the ways in which your children express their love for you.
If they are always wanting to hug you and be close to you, their love language might be physical touch.
Different people have different preferences for how they like to be physically touched. The following are some general ways to use the physical touch love language. -Greet your child with a hug, kiss, or both when you see them. -Hold hands while you are out together. -Sit close while you are talking. -Snuggle while you are watching a movie together.
- Cuddle up on the sofa and watch a show together.
- Hug and kiss them when they leave for school and when tucking them in at night.
- Give them a high five when you see them doing something positive.
Does your child always tell you how pretty you look, or give you other compliments? The words of affirmation might be their love language.
Here are some ways to use the words of affirmation love language:
- Put an encouraging note in their lunchbox.
- Tell them often how much you love them.
- Tell them when they have done something well.
If your kids are constantly asking you to play with them or watch them do something, then quality time is likely their love language.
Here are some ways to use the quality time love language:
- Stop and make eye contact with your child when they come up to talk to you.
- Schedule time with each of your children individually.
- Surprise your child with tickets to a special show.
Your child might show their love for you by constantly giving you gifts, or by hanging on to certain toys long after they have outgrown them.
Here are some ways to use the gift’s love language:
- Make a mental note of something your child asks for and then surprise them with that thing later on.
- Leave a card or something you make for them on their pillow.
- Hide a small gift in their lunchbox.
If your child brings you a blanket when you say you’re cold, or helps you with things like tying your shoes even though they know how to do it themselves, they might be expressing their love for you through acts of service.
Some ways to use acts of service as a love language are to do things that the other person may not want to do, such as cleaning the house or doing the grocery shopping. You can also do things to make their life easier, such as taking care of the kids for a day so they can have some free time. Another way to show you care is to show up when they need you, such as being there for them when they have a tough day at work.
- Help your children with their homework.
- Wake up early and make them a special breakfast.
- Help fix broken toys.
Make sure to show your kids some extra love on Valentine’s Day! It’ll be fun for you and they’ll love it! Have a great day!
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