Inspire Children With Encouragement

by Shirley King

When asked what they want for their children, parents usually want very similar things: " I want my children to be honest, self-reliant, capable, self-confident, responsible, compassionate, loving, trustworthy, enthusiastic, positive, creative." The list can seem endless, but in general parents want their children to be decent, responsive, caring people that are able to reach their potential.

In raising our children to be all they can be, there is no simple cure-all prescription. Parents can aim for instilling a sense of healthy self-esteem, in their children. High self-esteem is basically a feeling of lovableness and capableness. A child who is on his way to becoming all he can be in his lifetime.

Encouragement is a skill we can learn in order to become the effective, positive and loving parents we all want to be. Encouragement can bring out all those wonderful qualities mentioned above.

Encouragement is an exceptional way to guide and inspire our children to behave appropriately. Rudolf Dreikurs, a child psychiatrist, said, "Children need encouragement, just as plants need water." Children derive a true sense of belonging and significance when encouraged.

Besides the fact that it works, encouraging our children to do and be all they can be makes sense. When we criticize, even constructively, we are actually discouraging our children and motivating them to misbehave. For example, saying "I appreciate you picking up your toys" works much better than 'How many times do I have to tell you to pick up your toys!" Instead of saying "Stop screaming in the house!" notice when she is talking quietly and acknowledge it by saying "Thank you for using your indoor voice." By noticing and encouraging good behavior, we will see more of it and we will see the magic of encouragement.

Parents need to continually look for the good and see their children in a good light. If they can focus on the good, they will then see the misbehavior fall away. When parents have faith that their children will behave properly, the children begin to have faith in themselves. It's up to us as parents to do this for our children until they are able to do it for themselves. Encouragement is an excellent way to bring up decent, responsible and caring human beings who will excel in the 21st century.