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If bedtime is difficult in your house perhaps the following seven
suggestions can be of help. Remember that your children need your
help during this major transition of their day. Remain calm, sensitive and
loving. Remain in charge. Follow through. Be positive.
1. Establish a definite bedtime. With younger children inform
them of your decision and stick to it. Children can feel
empowered if given a choice from which they can choose. "You
can choose either 7:15pm or 7:30pm as your bedtime." With
older kids, give them the opportunity to stay up later on Fridays
and Saturdays. Also it is important that children recognize that
adults need time alone together. Teens, for example, may set
their own time to go to sleep, but they need to go to their rooms
to read or study after 9:00pm in order for parents to have some
"adult-time."
2. Develop a consistent routine. Children who have a set of
bedtime activities adapt better. From getting bedclothes on, to
washing face and teeth, to having water by the bed, to that
all-important bedtime story. Try to set up a routine that you and
the kids follow every night.
3. Prepare for bedtime by giving notice. "It's 7 o'clock, bed
time is in an hour." By announcing in advance their bedtime,
children begin to mentally prepare for the change and are more
receptive to shifting their focus from other activities.
4. Younger children often feel having a doll, stuffed animal
or special blanket helps them to transition to sleep time
more securely. Such an object for the child symbolically
reminds them of their parents and helps that time alone to feel
safer and more secure.
5. Don't force kids to go to sleep. It is better to help children
to listen to their own internal clock, to recognize their own
feelings of fatigue. Rather, define bedtime as the time of night you
go to your room and prepare for sleep with a story or reading to
yourself. Some children relax if there is a radio playing soothing
music. After a full day, most children will fall asleep naturally as
soon as they slow things down.
6. Avoid power struggles and manipulations. As parents we
forget that our attention is often what keeps problems occurring.
If children act-out to keep us involved at bedtime, take charge of
what you choose to give your attention to and ignore behaviors
that are inappropriate or just attention getting. Stay calm, give
clear and concise directions and while being sensitive remain firm
and consistent.
7. Finally, plan your time around the children's bedtime.
Don't count on watching your favorite TV program during the
bedtime routine. The kid's bedtime is not the time to do the
dishes or work on that unfinished project. Focus on the children,
help them to get ready and give them a few minutes of quality
time. Bedtime can be one of the few times in the day when a
parent can really connect emotionally with their child and a child
can feel close to the parents. |
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