parent/infant bond. The foundation doesn't end
with toddlerhood. In fact, it grows stronger and deeper as the
child grows. "Attachment parenting," writes Dr. Sears, "puts you
and your child in harmony with each other."
Attachment discipline is loving guidance within the framework
of this harmony between the parent and child. Discipline then,
can be viewed not as a negative punishment, but instead a
positive teaching experience. Attachment discipline is asking
myself "What do I want my child to learn in this situation?" and
then encouraging the desirable behavior. Encouraging positive
behavior is loving guidance.
Loving guidance is based on mutual respect. Respecting our
children as decent, worthwhile human beings (which they are) is
the way to teach them how to respect others. If we want our
children to knock on our doors, for example, we knock on their
doors.
Attachment discipline also involves expressing love.
Reflective listening is an excellent way to communicate love to
a child. Reflective listening is simply listening to what your
child is feeling and then gently reflecting it back to him in
fresh words. A child who feels truly heard and understood from
his point of view will not need to misbehave to gain
significance.
Attachment parenting and specifically, attachment discipline,
help a child feel significant, worthwhile, and loved. Attachment
parenting helps children grow to be happy, contributing, capable
and self-reliant people. Attachment discipline leads children
toward cooperation and social responsibility, with feelings of
independence, security, trust and love. This is what parenting
is all about.
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